St. John Chrysostom On The Husband's Love For His Wife
In his homilies on Ephesians, John Chrysostom left us with what are
arguably some of the most beautiful and challenging words ever penned
on Christian marriage when he says to husbands:
Pay attention to love’s high standard. If you take the premise that
your wife should submit to you as the church submits to Christ, then
you should also take the same kind of careful, sacrificial thought for
her that Christ takes for the Church.
Even if you must offer your own life for her, you must not refuse.
Even if you must undergo countless struggles on her behalf and have
all kinds of things to endure and suffer, you must not refuse.
Even if you suffer all this, you have still not done as much as Christ
has for the church. For you are already married when you act this way,
whereas Christ is acting for one who has rejected and hated him.
So just as he, when she was rejecting, hating, spurning and nagging him,
brought her to trust him by his great solicitude, not by threatening,
lording it over her or intimidating her or anything like that, so you
must also act toward your wife. Even if you see her looking down on
you, nagging and despising you, you will be able to win her over with
your great love and affection for her.
(John Chrysostom, Homily on Ephesians, 5:25 --ca. 400 A.D.)"